Post by cleve on Jan 11, 2022 0:37:52 GMT
KEVIN NASH: Bah, what do you know? Who invited you anyway?
Somewhere in or around St. Louis, which makes sense given that it’s the site of the inaugural episode of WLCW Vengeance, Kevin Nash sits at a rather small, wooden table inside what can best be described as a … coffee shop.
“Uh, you did.”
And, sitting across from the big fella is a guy who looks to be in his 30s, sporting a new WLCW shirt, displayed proudly beneath his winter jacket. No accident the shirt is getting camera time, to be sure.
KEVIN NASH: Right, right.
Shrugging, Big Kev leans back in his chair, taking in the scene around him.
As mentioned, the scene around him resembles … a coffee shop. People moving about, getting their whipped cream, cinnamon, latte this, mocha that, but not Kev. No, no, he sits at his table drinking his coffee black. He’s always taken his coffee black.
KEVIN NASH: But, do you see a car? Does any of this have anything to do with a car?
“No, but I mean, like, the general premise is the same.”
His guest on the other hand, he’s sipping some sort of mocha-vanilla-frappe-whatever.
KEVIN NASH: Oh really? ‘Cause the way I see this thing going is that you ask me the questions.
The guy sporting the WLCW shirt pauses for a moment, now leaning back in his chair.
“Ehhh, still.”
KEVIN NASH: I don’t know how many times I have to tell you man, this is nothing like Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. I wish it was, but it has nothing to do with cars … and neither of us are comedians. Specifically you!
Big Kev’s booming voice draws some odd stars from the coffee shop attendees, but nothing that he’s not used to on account of his height and overall general studly nature.
“I hear you, I understand where you’re coming from … and I think it’s rather derivative of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. That’s all I’m saying. This whole thing, ya’ know?”
KEVIN NASH: Fine. I’ll take the compliment. Even though it’s absurd.
Kev’s guest looks a bit puzzled, but the big fellas turns his attention to the side of the table, which means he’s looking right at the camera.
KEVIN NASH: You ready to roll?
The camera shakes up and down, clearly a sign that the operator of said camera is indeed ready to roll.
KEVIN NASH: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen … but probably mostly ladies, to the inaugural Coffee with Kev! It’s, uh, pretty much exactly how it sounds. We’ll be doing this off and on, and so, I’ll have guests on my, go ahead and call it a show, we’ll have coffee and they’ll ask me questions. It’s cutting edge, it’s informative and it’s entertaining!
Big Kev winks for the camera before taking a sip of his coffee.
KEVIN NASH: So here’s the plan, every time we do one of these cutting edge, informative, entertaining shows, I’ll have a guest but, get this, it’ll be my guest asking me the questions. And, today my first guest is a simple one … a simple, everyday, average, ordinary WLCW fan.
The camera pans in on Kev’s guest momentarily, long enough for him to take a sip of his mocha-whatever and follow it up with a lip smacking “ahhh” type sound.
KEVIN NASH: Never. Never again do that. Abhorrent. Understand?
Shaking his head at the, as he put it, abhorrent “ahhh” sound his guest made post coffee sip, Kev continues.
KEVIN NASH: Now this guy right here, he won this opportunity after being chosen randomly out of literally thousands of people vying for this very opportunity. So, here’s to hoping he doesn’t wreck Ep. 1. I’ve already got my concerns.
For no good reason at all Kev blows the camera a kiss.
KEVIN NASH: Let’s do this thing.
“Now?”
KEVIN NASH: It’s Coffee with Kev, isn’t it? We’ve got coffee, we’ve got Kev, let’s get on with it.
“Uhhh, OK, so I guess my first question is … why?”
Turning to face the camera, going out of his way to address it directly …
KEVIN NASH: Generally speaking, the answer to that question is … because I can.
Another wink.
“No, what I mean is, why come back to wrestling?”
After a long, exasperated sigh, the big fella offers his response.
KEVIN NASH: Because … I can. Of all the places you could’ve started, you go there, huh? I mean, you could’ve asked me about the Pistons, although I’m glad you didn’t. You could’ve asked me about the upcoming Crüe tour, because there are concerns it’ll happen, so again, I’m glad you didn’t. You could’ve asked me about my thoughts on climate change. But nope, you just want to know why. Truthfully, there is no more accurate answer than simply because I can. But, something tells me you want more, yeah?
“Well, yeah. I mean, you’re how old …”
KEVIN NASH: Not important. What IS important is that in wrestling years I’m in my prime.
“How do you figure?”
KEVIN NASH: How many bumps would you say I’ve taken?
Chuckling, Kev’s guest responds.
“Hah! Not many.”
KEVIN NASH: Exactly. Compared to some of these guys who run around the ring and dive all over the place, I’m in prime wrestling condition! At least when you wrestle the way I wrestle. You’re not going to see much of a difference with me in the ring now versus the last time you saw me. Minimum effort, maximum reward. How many guys can say they’ve been in their prime this long?
“And money?”
KEVIN NASH: Love it. Let’s talk about that.
“No, how much does money have to do with you coming back.”
Kev’s expression to the camera can best be described as - “is this guy kidding me?”
KEVIN NASH: Let’s go with … all of it? Look man, there is exactly one wrestling company in the game these days. Anyone who wants to put their money to work in this business has got to work with the WLCW. And anyone who works with the WLCW is going to want to work with Big Kev. No one moves product like I move product. Imagine having one thing to invest in, one company, and that one company having an asset far greater and more valuable than the rest of its assets combined. Now stop imagining. Live it instead. The WLCW is that one company. And, Kevin Nash is that one asset.
“Okaaay, then. What about Samoa Joe?”
KEVIN NASH: I’m pretty sure you can’t say Samoa Joe on Coffee with Kev.
“Why not?”
KEVIN NASH: You’re referring to him by his nationality, or whatever, that’s not cool. I’m not trying to have my first guest get canceled.
“It’s … his name.”
Grinning, the big fella takes a break from the conversation to make an announcement to the camera.
KEVIN NASH: And my name is Kevin Nash, and you can find my new Coffee with Kev t-shirts on the official WLCW website fully stocked by Vengeance!
“This is going so well.”
KEVIN NASH: I agree. We’ve got a hit show on our hands. Go ahead and call him Samoa Joe if you want, clearly you’ve done your research. And yeah, I know he’s my opponent on the first edition of Vengeance and that’s all well and good, but I’m not sure what to tell you about that. Do you want to break down my strategy? Go hold for hold?
“That would be great, you know, really get an insider’s …”
KEVIN NASH: Is this really happening right now?
“Oh yeah.”
KEVIN NASH: Oh yeah is right. My strategy is to head down to the ring, do as little as I have to do but make sure that I kick Samoa Joe right in the head and figure out a way to lift that chunk monster over my head and send him back down to to the mat with the ole’ number 1 … the Jackknife!
Kev tosses the rock n’ roll sign to the camera, and while the conversation continues, our scene fades out.